If you attend the Divine Liturgy, you are not to be a spectator, but a participant. Once the Divine Liturgy begins—and one should always arrive at least 10 minutes prior to the beginning—one should stand, follow the Service attentively and sing as much as one can. We also participate by making the Sign of the Cross whenever Christ, the Holy Trinity, the Theotokos, or the saints are mentioned by name. It is vital that we teach our children also how to participate in the Service—I can guarantee you that only you—the parent—can teach a child how to participate in the Liturgy, and if you neglect this—the Church will eventually lose that young person. How tragic it is to attend Divine Liturgy and see children left to themselves to play in the Narthex, on the floor, or stuck in a back corner somewhere with a pile of toys or books. This conveys a powerful message to the children that the Liturgy, and thus Orthodoxy, is for adults only, and that children are excluded.

The children have been baptized and they need to be brought into the fullness of the worship, no matter HOW DIFFICULT IT SEEMS TO BE TO DO THIS. Toddlers can be especially hard because they become easily frustrated when their movements are restricted. At first, we may be able only to keep them within arm’s reach and quiet their louder outbursts. While we have to allow them a certain latitude, we must very clearly define specific boundaries to their movements and their behavior. If no boundaries are defined, a child will ultimately wander aimlessly throughout the church until somebody stops him. The boundary will be tested, we can be assured of that, and because of this, consistency is essential. As many times as the child tries to wander, we must bring him back. Any time the child makes a loud disturbance, we must insist he be quiet. If he chooses to persist or become even louder, we must immediately take him outside and discipline him in such a way that he will connect going outside with something unpleasant. We should take note that rebellion does not always manifest itself in a noisy way. Silent sobbing and sullen disobedience are just as indicative of self-will as tantrums and just as spiritually destructive if not corrected immediately. Needless to say, if you come late to the Liturgy, and leave after Holy Communion before the Dismissal without reason, then we are teaching by example. And that’s the most powerful teaching tool there is. When in doubt, ask some of our good, experienced and successful Church Parents in our Parish—and follow their example.